Sometimes I wonder if the way I deal with things is healthy. I spend so much time talking to God about my problems. But am I focusing on them too much? Is this obsessing fostering my bitterness?
As I come off another round of listening to music that encourages my downward spiraling mood (instead of music that might uplift my spirits), I find myself agreeing with every artist. Maybe every song doesn't completely apply to my life story, but I can always find a line that suits me.
Chris Young's "Tomorrow" is a perfect example. No, I'm not living with a boyfriend in a broken, on-again-off-again relationship. But, oh, the eloquence of the chorus.
"We're like fire and gasoline, I'm no good for you, you're no good for me. We only bring each other tears and sorrow."
Yes, this makes me think of a past romantic relationship. But some days, it seems like so much more.
Ever since this relationship ended, I have really struggled with people in general. I'm afraid to invest when the risks are so high and I've been burned before. Even more so, I fear the damage that I might do to them.
I feel so needy. So much so, its toxic. I feel like the fire in the song that could spark at any moment, consuming everything that surrounds it.
I do not know if it is selfishness, self-preservation, or concern for others that discourages me from opening up to others once again. Maybe I don't feel worthy. Maybe I don't trust them. Maybe its a combination of the two.
All I really know is that I have a long road ahead to travel.
Solo Christo. Christ alone. Only in Him can I find my sufficiency.
As I come off another round of listening to music that encourages my downward spiraling mood (instead of music that might uplift my spirits), I find myself agreeing with every artist. Maybe every song doesn't completely apply to my life story, but I can always find a line that suits me.
Chris Young's "Tomorrow" is a perfect example. No, I'm not living with a boyfriend in a broken, on-again-off-again relationship. But, oh, the eloquence of the chorus.
"We're like fire and gasoline, I'm no good for you, you're no good for me. We only bring each other tears and sorrow."
Yes, this makes me think of a past romantic relationship. But some days, it seems like so much more.
Ever since this relationship ended, I have really struggled with people in general. I'm afraid to invest when the risks are so high and I've been burned before. Even more so, I fear the damage that I might do to them.
I feel so needy. So much so, its toxic. I feel like the fire in the song that could spark at any moment, consuming everything that surrounds it.
I do not know if it is selfishness, self-preservation, or concern for others that discourages me from opening up to others once again. Maybe I don't feel worthy. Maybe I don't trust them. Maybe its a combination of the two.
All I really know is that I have a long road ahead to travel.
Solo Christo. Christ alone. Only in Him can I find my sufficiency.
