Fire + Gasoline

Sometimes I wonder if the way I deal with things is healthy. I spend so much time talking to God about my problems. But am I focusing on them too much? Is this obsessing fostering my bitterness? 

As I come off another round of listening to music that encourages my downward spiraling mood (instead of music that might uplift my spirits), I find myself agreeing with every artist. Maybe every song doesn't completely apply to my life story, but I can always find a line that suits me.

Chris Young's "Tomorrow" is a perfect example. No, I'm not living with a boyfriend in a broken, on-again-off-again relationship. But, oh, the eloquence of the chorus.

"We're like fire and gasoline, I'm no good for you, you're no good for me. We only bring each other tears and sorrow." 

Yes, this makes me think of a past romantic relationship. But some days, it seems like so much more. 

Ever since this relationship ended, I have really struggled with people in general. I'm afraid to invest when the risks are so high and I've been burned before. Even more so, I fear the damage that I might do to them. 

I feel so needy. So much so, its toxic. I feel like the fire in the song that could spark at any moment, consuming everything that surrounds it.

I do not know if it is selfishness, self-preservation, or concern for others that discourages me from opening up to others once again. Maybe I don't feel worthy. Maybe I don't trust them. Maybe its a combination of the two.

All I really know is that I have a long road ahead to travel.

Solo Christo. Christ alone. Only in Him can I find my sufficiency.

Late Nights, Early Mornings

Today I wrapped up May Term. By "today", I mean yesterday. I haven't actually ended my day with sleep yet. At around 10 pm this evening, the few of us remaining in the house made stir fry, and then watched a long action movie. You would think that movie is what is keeping me up. But there are other things on my mind at 3:21 in the morning. So I pull up Hulu and watch another episode of Criminal Minds. I'll be able to sleep in the car tomorrow, so I'll be fine. Eventually.

Over You

Over You   by Miranda Lambert

Weather man said it's gonna snow,By now I should be used to the cold.Mid-February shouldn't be so scary.It was only December,I still remember the presents, the tree, you and me.
But you went away,How dare you?I miss you.They say I'll be okay,But I'm not going to ever get over you.
Living alone, here in this place,I think of you and I'm not afraid.Your favorite records make me feel better,Cause you sing along with every song.
I know you didn't mean to give them to me.
But you went away,How dare you?I miss you.They say I'll be okay,But I'm not going to ever get over you.
It really sinks in, you know,When I see it in stone
'Cause you went awayHow dare you?I miss you.They say I'll be okay,But I'm not going to ever get over you.

"Over You" is a mournful tune, remembering hurtful losses of the past. The beginning likens the cold of winter to the loneliness she feels. Memories of Christmas celebrations and songs sung together are brought to the surface.


The chorus cuts to the heart of the heart of the emotions. "How dare you?", the singer asks in anger. Any listener can identify with the pain and bitterness Miranda expresses. 


The part of the song that startled me was the bridge: "It really sinks in, you know, when I see it in stone." I had assumed the song was about an ex. Instead, this pain is deeper. They loved each other. But he hadn't just left. He was taken from her.


The gravestone mentioned in the song actually has the name Shelton on it. Many think that refers to Blake Shelton, Lambert's husband. According to the couple, however, the song was co-written by the two of them in memory of Shelton's brother who died in a car accident. Shelton found that the song made him to emotional to sing, and it seemed to be written from more of a female perspective, so Lambert was chosen to sing it.

"Over You" has become a hit because it resonates with every heart that has broken because of a break up or a death of a loved one. This guarantees a large audience of sympathetic listeners. I was certainly won over.

Riding with Private Malone

Riding with Private Malone

"I was just out of the service, thumbing through the classifieds/
When an ad that said: 'Old Chevy' somehow caught my eye/
The lady didn't know the year,or even if it ran/
But I had that thousand dollars in my hand.

It was way back in the corner of this old ramshackle barn/
Thirty years of dust and dirt on that green army tarp/
When I pulled the cover off, it took away my breath/
What she called a Chevy was a '66 Corvette.

I felt a little guilty as I counted out the bills/
But what a thrill I got when I sat behind the wheel/
I opened up the glove box and that's when I found the note/
The date was '1966' and this is what it wrote:

He said,'My name is Private Andrew Malone/
If you're reading this,then I didn't make it home/
But for every dream that shattered,another one comes true/
This car was once a dream of mine,now it belongs to you/
And though you may take her and make her your own/
You'll always be riding with Private Malone.'

Well it didn't take me long at all, I had her running good/
I loved to hear those horses thunder underneath her hood/
I had her shining like a a diamond and I'd put the rag top down/
All the pretty girls would stop and stare as I drove her through town.

The buttons on the radio didn't seem to work quite right/
But it picked up that oldies show,especially late at night/
I'd get the feeling sometimes, if I turned real quick I'd see/
A soldier riding shotgun in the seat right next to me.

It was a young man named Private Andrew Malone/
Who fought for his country and never made it home/
But for every dream that's shattered, another one comes true/
This car was once a dream of his, back when it was new/
He told me to take her and make her my own/
And I was proud to be riding with Private Malone.

One night it was raining hard, I took the curve too fast/
I still don't remember much about that fiery crash/
Someone said they thought they saw a soldier pull me out/
They didn't get his name, but I know without a doubt:

It was a young man named Private Andrew Malone/
Who fought for his country and never made it home/
But for every dream that's shattered,another one comes true/
This car was once a dream of his, back when it was new/
I know I wouldn't be here if he hadn't tagged along/
That night I was riding with Private Malone/

Thank God I was riding with Private Malone."

There are many reasons why I like country music. I enjoy its folksy language, its storytelling nature, and its reverence of the US Armed Forces. These are all evidenced in this song. "Riding with Private Malone" is a bittersweet song about a fallen soldier who's cherished Corvette is prized by a man from the next generation. 

While country music prides itself on telling the "real stories" of the everyday American, this song taps into the imagination of every sucker for a good ending by bringing back Malone's ghost to save the singer's life from a fiery crash. At this time of year, as we come to Memorial Day, "Riding with Private Malone" is an even more poignant example pointing to the service and sacrifice of our troops.

Resurrection

After some thought, I have decided to resume blogging. Instead of starting a completely new blog, I resurrected this one and gave it a face-lift. Hope you enjoy my posts as I share my thoughts. 

Letter to My Classmates

Dear Classmates,

I would like to start out my letter to you all by saying it has been a really enjoyable year, and I have learned very much, from this class, and from all of you.

It seems to be the general consensus of this class that Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller is an enjoyable read. Miller uses a very non-confrontational, self-deprecating approach that is appealing to our generation. Yet, he does not write a wishy-washy, obsequious novel that just seeks to please. In fact, he brings up some very convicting points. Miller remarks on the irony that Christians should be the most loving people on earth, and yet they are often the most unloving and judgmental.

In his chapter, entitled “How to Really Love People,” Miller uses the example of the hippies that he lived with in the forest. He says “When I was with the hippies, I did not feel judged, I felt loved. It felt so wonderful to be in their presence, like I was special. I have never experienced a group of people who loved each other more than my hippies in the woods.” However, when he leaves the hippies, and goes to work at a church camp, it is a different story. He arrived at the camp smelling of smoke and looking shaggy. The Christians at the camp looked down at him because he looked and behaved in a way unusual to them.

Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Shouldn’t Christians be known for their love, not their judgmental attitudes? Miller finished the chapter by concluding that we as Christians view love as a commodity, like money. We give it to the people that give to us, and only to those that we expect something from in return. That is the wrong point of view: love is not money, it is a gift.

We need to give our love unselfishly, with the grace and mercy that God used towards us when he rescued us from our sinful lives. We need to love in a radical way as we have been loved in a radical way. As Christians, our love for others should be evident in everything we do. As Dr. Alberta Wilson said, “I want God’s love to shine through me, so that when I walk into a room, people say ‘Wow, her God must be awesome!’”

Jesus himself showed great love to those around Him throughout the Scriptures. Besides the obvious( His great act of love on the Cross) Jesus also spent time loving the least. He took the time to talk to a Samaritan woman who was a social outcast, rescued an adulterous woman from being put to death, and even ate dinner with tax collectors and “sinners.” This last act outraged the Pharisees, the Jewish religious leaders of the time, and they asked how Jesus could dare make such an offence. His reply was “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Mark 2:17

The band Casting Crowns says it well in their song “If We Are the Body,” where they tell the story of a young girl mocked by church members and a traveler sitting in a back pew who is made to feel as if “his chances are better out on the road.” The chorus hauntingly asks “If we are the Body, why aren't His arms reaching? Why aren't His hands healing? Why aren't His words teaching? And if we are the Body, why aren't His feet going? Why is His love not showing them there is a way?” As Christians, people that have experienced the greatest love all time, we should be the most loving people that this world has to offer. We have the cure to the cancer of their soul; we should be exhilarated to share it.

I hope that this motivates you guys as much as it motivates me to go out and reach my world for Christ!

Mary

Speak for those that have no voice

Citations "Speak for the Weak Facebook Bumper Sticker." Image. www.abort73.com 17 Dec. 2009 <http://www.abort73.com/gear/graphics/speak_for_the_weak_sangria> "Speak for the Weak t-shirt." Photo. www.facebook.com16 April 2009. 17 Dec. 2009 <" target="_blank" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 139); text-decoration: underline; ">http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2459410&id=7644864415#/photo.php?pid=2459410&id=7644864415&fbid=90404049415> 'Love Lets Live t-shirt." Photo. www.facebook/com 14 Oct. 2009. 17 Dec. 2009 <http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=3783756&id=7644864415> "Shhhh Finger on Mouth." Photo www.facebook.com 20 Oct. 2009. 17 Dec. 2009. <http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30540082&o=all&op=1&view=all&subj=2249801589&aid=-1&id=1539510034&oid=2249801589> Lind, Nolan. "Shut Your Mouth." Photo. www.facebook.com 17 April 2009. 18 Dec. 2009. <http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1806542&op=1&o=global&view=global&subj=10621862898&id=752355793>

Logos!!

This ad states "You could be one less affected by cervical cancer!" The ad goes on to state several facts about the Gardasil shot, and how it can prevent certain types of cervical cancer. The type of persuasion used here is Logos, or logic. No one wants to get cancer. This ad tells people about one way they can prevent a type of cancer, and it gives them facts to back up what it claims.

Character

This political advertisement for John McCain is from the 2008 presidential elections. It uses ethos, or a character argument. The subtle argument is that John McCain has the experience that you want in a president. The picture shows him in a suit, confidently leaning his arm against a government building.